The Test

Here we are waiting still for our visas and it is trying our patience.  Everyone says there is a reason and we know that too but sometimes it seems the only reason is a seeming war between two sets of lawyers, one on "our" side (the church) and one on the side of the New Zealand government.  As always, those who are most affected have little to say in the matter.  It is a helpless feeling.  If I get frustrated so easily with something as small as this, I can't imagine what others who are in much more dire circumstances are feeling.  It seems like the wait from the first of Oct. when we first put in papers and today, May 9, 2012 has been terribly long.  The pluses are that I get to spend more time with my family and lots of time to think about what this means to me.  Do I really want to do this?  Is it worth it?  Should we ask to be reassigned (the idea did come up and what were we thinking)? 

We've had lots of discussions about various things but the most prominent one has been about what our motivation really is.  Unlike many couples who go on missions to "fill time" or avoid things or to take a vacation, we are among those that want to go to "work", to do something that really makes a difference in the kingdom wherever we are.  We have found that can be in New Zealand or in Provo, UT.  It can be across the globe or the country or the street.  We have tried hard to align our thinking with that of the Lord and it has not been an easy task.  Believe me when I say that if we didn't really believe in what we are doing, we would never be leaving our beautiful family to go across the country let alone half-way round the world.  Every night we pray for our visas and every night, I pray for the courage to do this wonderfully terrible thing called a mission.