Lupines on the way to Mt. Cook

Running Away

Our sweet mission president says that the senior couples have a "get out of jail free card".  I think he understands that we have worked hard our whole lives to be able to do this mission.  He also understands that it costs a whole lot of money that mostly comes out of our pockets and that it can be a pressure that we have worked our whole lives to be free of. : )  Here we are again, back on the front lines so to speak and it can get a little overwhelming and lets face it, we are not spring chickens.  There is no way that we can keep up with the young elders and sisters although some of the time we try.  He therefore grants us from time to time a little "vacation" time.

We took one day of that time on Friday.  We have had our shoulders to the wheel pretty much all the time even when we went to the north island and the temple.  They were a little bit like working vacations.  We saw a lot and did a lot even there.  Friday was literally a mini-vacation.  It was awesome.  Because of the holiday, which New Zealanders pretty much observe from before Christmas to the 6th of January, people are not very available so appointments fell through and we found ourselves with a whole day free.  We woke the usual time and Ken said, "Let's get in the car and ride up to Tekapo."  Tekapo is a lake on the way to Cook. 

We got on the road pretty early and headed up to the Southern Alps.  We intended on going to Tekapo and then to Twizel, a little town south of there.  Even then we couldn't let go of the missionary handle. lol  In Twizel there is a couple and their 3 children who are members and can't get to church often because it is 2 1/2 hours away.  They are on the western most boundaries of our little branch and the only members there.  They are both return missionaries and have a strong little family.  We did end up seeing them and having dinner with them as well but I digress.

The scenery as we went on this little get away was amazing!  To begin with, there were thousands and thousands of lupine growing everywhere.  You can't begin to imagine the color, variety and number of flowers.  I remember taking my mom on a little trip to Bear Lake a few years ago.  There was a yard full of snapdragons and the Bear River valley was full of wild flowers.  The hills were literally blue and I have never forgotten that.  In that same way, I will never forget this trip.  There was mile upon mile of purple of every shade, blue, pink, white, yellow and peach.  I took a "jillion" pictures.  Maybe I exaggerate but it seemed like that many.  I still have the sight of it in my mind.  At home I got excited at the sight of one lupine but thousands are overwhelming.

We did the usual "tourist" stop at the little chapel at Lake Tekapo but since it was early in the morning still, we decided to make the run all the way to Mt. Cook.  The scenery changed from alpine to high mountain desert much like home.  It was wonderful.  We stopped at Lake Pukaki to have lunch before starting the leg to Cook.  The mountains were mirrored in the calm waters of Lake Pukaki.  It was gorgeous and for some reason, tuna sandwiches tasted better.  I have seen few lakes with water that clear.  Nothing was growing in it and there was no polution from boats or other water craft.

We stopped at Peter's Point for a panoramic view and met a lovely lady there named Pat Pendergrast.  She was busy doing watercolors of the area.  As she painted, she made her living selling books about her paintings, wild flowers and her mountaineering experiences.  We bought a book, a print and exchanged cards and thoughts on God.  We continued on and as we got closer and closer, nothing prepared me for what I would see. 

When we arrived at Mt. Aoraki (Mt. Cook) it took our breath away.  The mountains there are beyond comprehension until you see them.  I suppose it is the same as the first time you see anything new and that massive.  I felt like I did in Alaska only closer.  I felt like I do in Utah on looking up at Timpanogos.  Those mountains are so rugged and even in summer, they are covered with a thick layer of blue glacial ice.  Pictures are not adequate although I tried my best to get some.  Pat's paintings were much more near my memory of those colors.  I tried my best in Alaska to render justice to that color but the camera cannot do it unless you have a really expensive setup.  My jaw literally dropped in awe and I have seen some beautiful sights here before.

Ken and I have talked a lot about how you explaining a spiritual experience with non-spiritual eyes.  It is impossible.  I'm sure it is no news to any of you that you can't explain seeing something amazing with real eyes by using words or pictures either.  I guess that is why Pat tries so hard to paint things in the way that her eyes saw them.  I came away with a renewed determination to do that.  I came away thinking that I need to interpret with my own eyes what I tried to capture with my camera.  It will not be the same as a digital image but it will be my interpretation of what I have seen however primitive.

I am adding some of the camera images for effect! smile!

A New View of Christmas

Spending time away from home and family in a place where Christmas is definitely not the big deal it is at home has given me a new view of Christmas.  I remember Christmas when I was young and it wasn't as big a deal then either.  The tree did not go up before the second week in December unless you were shameless.  The tree had to be perfect.  The presents were many fewer.  The excitement was just as big!  It doesn't seem that Christ was the center of Christmas then or here in New Zealand either.  So what is the difference.  Well, I have been giving it a lot of thought and apparently my perspective on it has changed greatly.

This year doesn't seem like Christmas at all.  It is hot (or at the very least warm outside).  We are having BBQ fare for lunch.  Lots of homes don't have trees.  Many people go to the beach.  I had difficulty finding a Nativity set that was what I wanted.  You know, something to remind me of New Zealand's love of Christ.  I ended up making my own from a Paua shell and plastic clay.  I started contrasting that to home in my mind and suddenly my mind had a whole new take on Christmas in America.  This was especially true after we asked each of the guests at our house on Christmas Eve what Christmas was like in Samoa, Tonga, Tasmania and as Kiwis.

Here are my thoughts today, one of the first to see Christmas day.  It is true that America has very much commercialized Christmas and some of it isn't for the better.  There are too many toys, too much sugar, too much very loud music and may I say, way too much cinnamon assaulting our noses especially in little boutique stores.  It always makes me sneeze!  That being said, I am finding that the contrasts have only served to highten my joy in the true meaning of Christmas.  The decorations in profusion bring satisfaction to my soul and remind me of the simplicity of the Saviors birthplace of the light when he was born.  There were great lights in the heavens.  The star was there and the angels must have shown ever so brightly.   The gifts, often way too many and far too expensive remind me that the Savior received only three gifts that were recorded and they were given long after his birth.  They were though, the best that could be given and offered in total loving humility to a child by three grown men. 

The joy on the faces of adults and children must have been the same.  It is the joy on our children's faces as they see the lights or open their gifts that for a fleeting moment evokes the same joy on the faces of Mary and Joseph, the shepherds and wise men as they knelt at the feet of the Christ child.  I accutely feel this "lack of presence" right now.  Not the lack of my Saviors love but the lack of ability to share it with my family, those I hold most dear, even though I am sharing it with many here that I love as well.  It is kind of like the feelings I had after my mom died, wanting to tell her something important then realizing I couldn't because she was no longer here with me.  It is a slightly unsettled feeling that I don't care for much.  I do feel my Saviors love but it seems to have been greatly magnified in my mind when I saw my children "walking uprightly before the Lord" and knew I got to observe it more closely.  I watched our annual family video with much more awareness, emotion and pride this year.  I longed to hold each parent and child as I watched.  They are my world, my "work and my glory".  None of this means anything without each of them in their place.

I have never felt the sanctity of the Saviors birth more profoundly than when looking on the stark white simplicity of the nativity sitting in the center of the temple reflecting pond surrounded by the brilliance of thousands upon thousands of gleaming colored lights or Santa kneeling by the Savior's manger in my favorite Christmas image.  I watched 'Joy To The World' so many times this year.  Each time I longed to be at temple square looking at the lights and the temple.  Making the trek up the ramp to see the Christus was always a highlight.  I usually observe these surrounded by my loved ones.  I have never felt so much alone yet so much aware on a Christmas day as I am feeling this Christmas day.  I hope this feeling never goes away.  I hope I understand this very feeling more each year.  I look forward to many more years of observing these contrasts with my beautiful family.  I guess it really is all in your point of view!

Family Responsibility

It has been an interesting couple of weeks to say the least.  There have been so many ups and downs it's hard to believe.  We have spent some awesome moments with some wonderful people and when we do, we feel there is nothing better in the whole wide world.  We have had our share of worries and pain along with the rest of you.  There have been many times I have wondered how we can go on living life this way with all it's little intricacies.  I have pondered and wondered way more than I thought I ever would over questions that I hoped I would never have to ponder.

When 27 amazing people lost their lives in the states this week (yes Gordon, I agree there were 27 "victims") I thought my heart would break.  I could see my grandchildren, so many near that age and I longed to hold them and try to help them understand why this would happen.  I made a comment on facebook in reaction to another comment I saw and went before the firing squad.  I felt on the line for expressing an opinion and then reflected over and over about whether that opinion was valid in view of all the comments that were flung at me.  I only got one attempt to try to come to a concensus.  Thanks Randy.  I love you and agree with much that you said. 

Well, here is my opinion now.  If I could give up every firearm we own, and it would save one child, I would do it in a minute.  I am not naive enough to believe that it would change anything.  I truly believe that only through coming back to moral values and teaching our children in faith centered, family centered homes will there ever be a change.  That is consistent with my gospel beliefs and all that I have observed in my life outside my own personal beliefs.  I see much about me now that tells me that is not going to happen any time soon.  In the meantime, something has to change and it has to change quickly before too many more are lost.

For all of you gun lovers out there, I loved it when my family would gather at 3 in the morning to pack up their gear so they could go on a family oriented hunting trip to get meat and to share time.  Hunting is fast becoming a rich man's game like so many other sports.  One son did not even get a permit this year though he applied.  Our family has not been able to hunt together for many years now because money and "management" is controlling the game.  Fortunately, that is not all we do to keep our bonds tight.  We had guns to hunt and to target shoot and for keepsakes of better times.  Many of my family still enjoy hunting and I would never want to take that away from them.

Yes, people kill people.  We have had 4 suicides under the age of 15 here in little Timaru in the last two months.  I'm not sure but I think most were not from guns.  One woman here was killed with a knife the other day.  Gun laws are pretty strict.  Many of the police don't even want to carry guns.  There is a lot of violence against women, children and men against men.  Yet, so many things that tear the family apart are allowed here.  This is something that I hope I never will understand.  I hear constantly about parents drinking and doing drugs with children in the house.  I have seen a 10 year old walking around with a beer in his hand.  Children are passed around households like so much junk!  It is wrong!  I know it and they know it but yet it continues.  When parents start taking responsibility for themselves and their children, maybe this will stop.

Maybe people kill people rather than guns but having an assault rifle handy sure makes it easier to do a lot more damage to a lot more people.  I asked my husband to explain a point about "clips" in guns today because I didn't feel informed enough.  Shouldn't 4 bullets in a chamber or clip be enough to take down an animal if you are a decent hunter.  Why do you need to put 11 bullets into a small child?  Someone explain that to me and then I will see your point.  Until then, don't take me on about it buster!  This is my blog and this is my opinion so I shouldn't have to answer to anyone.  There is no reason under God's sky for anyone other than the military or police to have automatic weapons.  These are made for one thing, to take people down and you all know it.  Twenty children and 40 parents and who knows how many relatives and friends must now live with this.  THERE IS NO REASON FOR IT.  IT IS SENSELESS!!!

Again!  Explain to me why 20 children and 6 more innocent people had to die for one person's selfishness and I will change my mind.  There is not a quick fix.  Yes, get better help for mental health issues.  Yes, teach respect for life.  Yes, put controls on the violence our children are watching every day and so and so on.  Yes, allow us to protect ourselves.  YES, do something immediately to stop all this.  You and I know it isn't going to happen.  Only the people of America can really make it happen if they truly want to.  IT STARTS IN YOUR HOME!