Believe in Priesthood Power

It is 3 o'clock in the morning and the spirit as the prophets would put it "has constrained me that I should write these things".  At the beginning of this post I don't know why or for whom.  Maybe it is for me but I cannot sleep and the spirit keeps telling me to get up and write this..  This is not a common occurrence in my life but I cannot ignore it.  Ken would be the first to tell you that I can sleep through almost anything.

Since we have been here, it am beginning to realize the real power of the priesthood.  More especially, I am realizing the blessing of having it daily in my home.  As I lay awake thinking about it, realizing how rare it is to have that privilege when surrounded by people who don't have it, I began to think about all the times in my life that it has been manifest.

The first one that came to mind was when Jamie died and the peace it brought me when nothing else would bring me peace.  I called on it almost daily in those times, whether by the laying on of hands or prayer, when there seemed no peace to be had, it protected me.  Next, I thought of the time when I was expecting her and  we didn't know I was pregnant yet.  I was so sick.  They thought I had lymphoma or some rare disease.  They quarantined me at the hospital until they figured out what it was, shingles in my sciatic nerve and chicken pox at the same time.  Only after tons of pain killer and several x-rays did they come to this conclusion along with the conclusion that I was carrying a baby that had been bombarded by all of this.  I had a priesthood blessing at three months in the pregnancy and I very literally felt that baby "flip" inside me to allow me to know that she was going to be fine.

With every pregnancy thereafter, there were multiple blessings.  Some of comfort,  some simply miraculous that led to positive results.  With Jen, my water broke at 5 months.  I carried her for 2 months more and no one will convince me that she is not a miracle.  When I did deliver her, she was healthy and strong.  She literally "saved my life" in a time of great despair.  With Micah, it kept me going when I hemorrhaged internally on losing his twin.  It kept him alive one Christmas Eve when the ward gathered to fast and pray for a baby not yet born.  It kept us going though he was very sick, through night after night of monitors beeping when we didn't want them to, signaling he had stopped breathing.  Ten months later, it comforted me when after surgery I got an infection that sent my temperature soaring to 106 and I heard a voice calling my name.  It was not the voice of anyone standing around me.  I can only describe it as a clear voice coming from somewhere beyond the veil calling my name.  I can remember thinking I can't go yet I have to raise these children and I was blessed to stay.

It brought me peace when President Benson laid his hands on Micah's little head and blessed him that he "would have the health and strength of mind and body to accomplish everything he was sent to earth to do".  I have used that priesthood power to pull me through so many terrible times.  I have been so blessed to be surrounded by it.  Whether it was Ken or our dads, my sons or my brothers and now my grandsons and nephews and friends, brothers in the gospel, it is all the same.  I have only to ask. 

It has not always brought the results I had hoped, as in Jamie's death, but it has always brought with it peace and the knowledge that if I remain faithful, it will bring the "right" outcome.  It has always brought with it courage and strength.  It has always buoyed me up and seen me through.  It has helped me to understand that I very literally am a daughter of God and that no matter what, though I go through trials, He is always with me, loving me and has given a gift to bless my and so many other lives.

Michael, this is for you.  Don't doubt!  You were saved for this time in your life to have this gift.  It will bring you nothing but blessings.  Don't doubt it, only believe.  You will never regret it!  Sarah, this is for you.  Your sons will be safe in Heavenly Father's care to accomplish all that they were sent to earth to do.   Whatever needs doing you can do if you call on this power to help you do it.  You are surrounded by many good priesthood holders to help you.  Amanda, this is for you.  Get the help that is available to you through earthly means and then seek that priesthood at every turn.  It will bring you peace and comfort but only if you use the other resources available to you.  You know it!  You father is living breathing evidence of it's power.  All the doctors skill would not have saved him had he not had those blessings.  To all my children, honor this power!  In this day and time of sin and disobedience, it is a very real port in any storm!

To the rest of you who read this, just believe in whatever circumstance you find yourself, you are not alone while this power exists on earth as the "pure love of Christ".  All you need to do is ask with priesthood power and whatever is best for you through the Lord's will can be given you if only you believe.

Those of Like Minds

Ken and I have had a bit of a tough time the last couple of weeks.  As you know, our liberal NZ people passed a gay marriage bill this week.  We had a lady in the branch who isn't really well acquainted with some of our doctrine ask us what the church position on that was (hello, read the Proclamation on the Family).  She will shortly be getting a missionary visit to bring her up to date.

I guess that is the problem I see everywhere I look.  There are many in our branch who are so young or so uninformed or indifferent in the gospel that they don't know.  It becomes very discouraging and disheartening especially after just having conference, that so many don't know so much.  Ken just looked up a talk from Elder Faust that was given to 2500 lawyers at a convention that clearly explains how the Law of the Lord always trumps the law of the land.

Unfortunately, it is the common practice here to do just the opposite.  We have RM's living in partnerships (common law marriages) often with 2 or 3 children and they think they are okay because the law says it is okay.  The younger generations have pretty much given up on living the laws of God and their parents make it easy for them to do that.  Mom and dad say they can decide what they want to do because they are old enough etc.  I'm sorry but a 10 or 12 year old is not old enough to decide everything about their lives.  We know many young teens that are drinking with full consent of mom and dad.

I have a really hard time wrapping my mind around this lack of desire for parents to "train up a child in the way he should go" but I am surrounded by it.  Even some members have this attitude.

Sooooooo, when I come home and start to complain, just remind me how glad I should be to have "like minded" people surrounding me.  I, at this point in time am really looking forward to that little blessing.  Right now, it is looming large in my life.  Ken struggles to teach the very few priesthood holders here how that works.  Lack of PH leadership is huge in our little branch.  I think he can't wait to come home to his quorum and have a spirited discussion with those who really know.

My best friends and support are an older couple 75 and 70 years old that we just baptized.  They don't know a lot of doctrine yet but they know what is right and that is really big to me.  I feel like I can go to them at any point in time and I will be talking to a "like minded" person.  The older generation here, I'm talking around my age and older seem to get it.  They may have been Catholic or whatever else all their lives but they rely on the Lord and have been good family people etc.  They are pretty appalled at what is happening here and around the world right now.

Thanks my family, neighbors and friends for thinking like I do, supporting the values I support, giving your hearts and souls to the right things and generally being there for one another.  Only now am I beginning to realize what an important commodity that is in this world.

A Real Christmas Present

We've been waiting and waiting.  It seemed a long way off and now it is over.  We got our real Christmas present this weekend.  Just as at home, we got part of it on Christmas Eve (Apr. 5) and part on the real Christmas day (Apr. 6).  The baptisms and confirmations are over and all that is left is the satisfied feeling you get when you give someone the best Christmas present ever.

Friday, April 5, our sweet couple showed up to take that big step.  She simply glowed even though she was shaking in her shoes.  He was looking pretty great in his shirt, tie and jacket.  He was nervous too but not visibly shaking.  She is such a tiny thing and it was quite a chore to find some clothing for her to be baptized in.  We finally decided on some pants and one of my white shirts.  I had to hem the pants up about 8 inches.  He fit just right in one of the jumpsuits we have here at the branch.  There was much picture taking as is always the case and it kept everyone busy and semi-calm. 

It is a big step for anyone to take but for a couple who are 70 and 75 years old, it seemed even bigger.  When Elder Jarvis said the baptismal prayer, there was a huge pause in part of it.  I knew something was going on but didn't know what.  When I asked him later, he said it was like an electric shock shooting through his body the spirit was so apparent.  She came out of the water and hugged him tight.  He then went in and all went well.  Only one time apiece. 

The thing I wished most to have a picture of was too sacred to think of taking a picture.  It will always be in my mind.  Ken and I were the only ones who could see it.  As he came up the baptistery stairs, she hugged him and he hugged her tightly for a long time.  The tears were running down her face.  She had a smile as big as it could get.  I hugged them both.  If we had baptized no one else, it would have been worth it to see this one.  WAIT!  Haven't I said this before.  Interesting that the feeling has been the same with all of our baptisms.

The baptisms on the 6th were equally satisfying, a mother and her two beautiful children, 12 and 9.  They were all great but mom was the best.  She was shining as she came out of the font.  She is the mom that said to us, "Why wouldn't anyone want this for their family."  I remember saying to her, "I don't know.  Why wouldn't they?"

All of this has made so much sense to each of them.  There have been a couple of things involved in all of this that have been very apparent to me.  One was that these people really were prepared for this event in their lives.  Two was that I am married to a master teacher who takes full advantage of the spirit and the priesthood power he holds in knowing how to go about teaching what is necessary to bring these children of Heavenly Father along in the way they need to be brought.  What a good example he is to me and all of them of loving guidance.  I am still so grateful for this present I have been given this day after Christmas.

For the Love of It

For many years now, I have thought of myself as being pretty good at loving people.  I think that has come about partly because of my basic nature but also partly because of the tests God has seen fit to send into my life.  We all get tests.  Many we don't enjoy but they force our growth.  My growth came in learning to love that which at outward appearance would seem difficult to love. 

When we were told that we had 2 deaf children and then lost our third child in 10 days time, I didn't want to even live let alone view this test as a vehicle for love and growth.  Looking back on those days is still somewhat painful but only from this point of view can I see what really came about because I was forced to confront something that I otherwise would not have done.  From the point of view of age and experience, I can see the love that Heavenly Father had for me when he gave me that test all in one big chunk instead of 3 smaller ones.  A friend of mine once told me, "You can only hurt so much."  I think Heavenly Father knew that and so gave me that trial all at once in a sense to help me have to "survive" it only once.  I didn't understand it at all until I had Micah and discovered I went through that pain and mourning for something lost all over again in a time when I was better prepared for it. 

I have learned to hold dear those experiences of those days because they were part of making me what I am now.  They brought me to the place where I saw that there was much more to life than the superficial things we cling so tightly to.  They brought me to a place where I learned to love the less than perfect Dale's and Theresa's, Rob's and Tony's, all the less than perfect people that so enriched my life.  My journey in the deaf community taught me to see and love people as they really are, as Heavenly Father sees them.  My time at the Transient Services Office taught me the same.  Some of these people made their own pain in a sense, some of them did not but they are all God's children and my brothers and sisters.  I have never really had any prejudices or pre-conceived ideas about people in general but if I had, they would have been swept away but the love that washed over me while working with all of these, God's children.

Coming here to New Zealand has been another of those experiences.  I have never met so many people that I felt I had known before.  It happens again and again almost everywhere I go here.  Usually the people I meet and "know" are not the well to do types but the simple, tender and sensitive spirits that I find everywhere I turn.  They have multiple problems, racial problems, family problems, problems with abuse in all it's forms, normal everyday frustrating problems.  It has taken me in most cases almost no time at all to learn to love them.  I hate what I see all about them but it isn't hard to love them, my brothers and sisters.  My capacity to love has grown by leaps and bounds.  I have found a whole new family here.  They don't look like me or talk like me.   They don't in some cases even think like me but I love them still.  They frustrate and confuse me.  They baffle and confound me.  They teach me and I am a willing student.  The Spirit helps to fill my cup and often it runs right over.

This joyful feeling!

Today as I sat in church, thinking about the people I have learned to love here, I got the most lovely feeling.  Lovely is a word used often here in New Zealand.  I have become quite attached to it because it is perfect for explaining how I feel right now.  I gave a talk on "Preparing for Ordinances" and it reminded me of some great experiences but standing there, looking out on that little band in this "wee small" church made my heart swell.  I could see the little couple from the last post who I am getting closer to every day.  They already fit into this congregation like a glove and they aren't even baptized yet.  I could see the young single mum with her little brood.  Three of them will be getting baptized on the 6th of April.  The other two are too young but their time will  come and the decisions of these last few days will change their lives forever.  I couldn't see the father who fought for his son.  He and that son are in difficult circumstances right now but my heart was with them in their struggle to strengthen themselves through the church.  I didn't see the little family who were baptized in October and who moved to another town where they are active in the church but I remembered the trip north with them last Sunday to receive her patriarchal blessing.  It was a wonderful trip and one I hope to make a few more times before we leave this place.

What if I had said no to this experience.  What if I had "chosen" the place I wanted to go rather than let the Lord choose for me.  What if I had decided that I really didn't want to go on a mission because I deserved some rest and I wanted to enjoy my grandchildren. What if, what if, what if.  I hope my sweet little Ashy who cried for grandpa and grandma the other day will someday understand that I gave up a little time with her which is precious and dear, to perhaps give eternity to some other wonderful people whom I have grown to love as my own.  Her tears have not gone unnoticed and I do miss her so very much but the tears of others have taken my heart and made it more tender as well. 

I hope that all my family will somehow come to understand that grandpa and grandma did a very hard thing in leaving them to bring about a couple of things of great importance.  One of those things is to bring the gospel to a few people who I know were chosen for us to meet.  God gives his love to each of us individually and often through other people.  The other thing is to set a precident and heritage for our family.  We want our family to know that missionary "sacrifices" bring about great joy in the long run.  I have never had these particular feelings before in my life.  I want all of my family to participate in the feeling you get when you see the "light" very literally turned on in someone else' eyes and life.  It is like no other feeling in the world and when you feel it, you want it more.

This joyful feeling is the one that has driven prophets and apostles and missionaries throughout the history of the gospel to want to share it again and again and again.  It is the knowledge that another one of your brothers and sisters has been given the opportunity to go home again, clean and unspotted by the world to live in the presence of Heavenly Father and all of the brotherhood that exists there.  There is no feeling quite like it.  It is a change of heart that makes you less of a selfish soul and more in tune with the spirit.  It is the feeling that quiets you, calms you and makes you whole.  This truly is a joyful feeling and it is worth the pursuit.

Am I Willing?

After my bishop told me long ago that a mission was not for me at the time, I pretty much decided that I would never have the experiences I hear RMs talk about.  Turns out my bishop was right because I ended up marrying one of those returned missionaries who told me of even more of those amazing experiences.  I loved to hear the stories but was pretty well resigned to the fact that I would never have those experiences even after we put our mission papers in.  I was so wrong.

Today I had another one of those "I don't understand because I have never had them" experiences.  The difference is that now I do understand because I have had more than one.  It seems though that each one eclipses the previous one and so you forget for a while but as Ken says, "It gets in your blood!"  He's right!  Each one becomes even more precious than the one before.  Our first one was great!  The second one was awesome!  This one was amazing!  I have run short of words to really describe the feeling.  Ken says too that it is hard to find words to explain a spiritual experience and he is right but I am going to try.

We met a lovely couple right after we arrived here.  There is no way you could call it a chance meeting as we have discussed with them many times.  We were headed home from a walk, were at our front door and Ken said, "Let's walk down to the nursery."  The nursery was just down the street.  We had no reason to go there in the middle of winter and with no garden to plant but we went.  As we were talking to the nursery man, a car pulled in, a man got out and made a b-line straight to us.  He looked right at our name tags, asked us who we were, made some small talk and invited us to his house.  We went.  This began a really nice friendship.

We were together often and talked of many things including families and politics and religion but we did not feel it was the right thing at the time to become too serious about gospel talks.  We got to know them really well.  We would call each other occasionally and get together at one another's homes.  We found we had a great deal in common.  She wrote in our journal that we were of different religions but we believed the same things.  That was several months ago when we had them to dinner one night.  We invited them to the branch Christmas party and that sparked more curiousity.   They felt a closeness to the members and noticed that "no one seemed to have an agenda".  In this time, we had numerous experiences that prepared us all for today.

Three weeks ago, on the verge of forgetting about teaching the gospel and possibly the friendship, we took a chance because it seemed we were making no progress in our friendship or the gospel.  Ken said, "Will you let us come and 'do what we do'."  The husband answered that he thought we had been doing what we do.  We told him we wanted to give them formal lessons and they agreed.  We started teaching them and giving them more and more church materials.  We invited them to church and they came.  We kept teaching, they kept coming. 

The first week they came to church we were not there and they stayed only for sacrament which was fast meeting.  The second week they stayed the whole time.  Last Tuesday we asked him to pray (because he hadn't been when we asked before).  Last Thursday she told us she was not going to join the church just because someone said she should.  Since she was alone that night, we invited her to read and pray about it.  Saturday, when Elder Jarvis and a stake visitor went to their home, he prayed aloud in the actual order of prayer.  He prayed again Sat. night when we gave another lesson.  Sunday they stayed at church and met with the branch president and were the last to leave.  Tuesday, we gave them the thought of a target date of either April 5 or 6 as a baptism date.  They grabbed me in the hall later and told me when they thought they might be ready.  He had counted the days 'til that date.  She came to Institute and Tai Chi that night.

Today, we taught them about the role of women in the church, faith and the Godhead in the morning and were invited back to teach them about tithing this afternoon.  This afternoon, after the lesson, they informed Ken (Elder Jarvis) that they were going to be baptized on April 5th.  We cried!  We have worked hard for this day.  We have loved and given up and gone again and gotten totally discouraged.  We have decided not to try numerous times but then I would get the prompting that we were not to give up.  I don't know why, but most of the time it was me saying that we could not quit.  I would hear a song and say, "This is for ______."  I heard a talk and we took it to them.  They listened to it 4 or 5 times.  They saw 'Les Miserables' and loved it.  Shortly after that, I was looking thru Motab music and found 'Bring Him Home' with Alfie Bowe.  They loved it.

We thought we would ask them about April 5 or 6 because of the anniversary of the Savior's birth, the birth of the church and all of that.  We threw in the 5th because it was our daughter's birthday and the true Christmas Eve.  Turns out, April 5th was the anniversary of her first marriage.  They both had previous spouses who died and whom they love.  I can't put every sacred thing or every non-coincidental experience down here.  Suffice it to say, that for all of us, this was meant to be.  We are so glad our assignment was changed.  We will soon have 8 converts to the gospel of Jesus Christ.  I am absolutely sure that He cares deeply for every single one of them and for us.  There are no accidents.  His plan has purpose if we are willing to follow.  Because we followed, our hearts are full to overflowing tonight and for many nights to come.

Invercargil to Queenstown

Well I thought maybe I would catch up on the rest of our trip.  After we left Invercargil, we headed up to Te Anau.  On the way there, we stopped at Gemstone Beach where I was seriously attacked by sand flies.  I really hate the little things and I am still itching.  Seems like it lasts forever!  It was a lovely beach though and we got to watch someone riding their horse on the beach which was fun.  It made me remember riding a horse on the beach in Venezuela.  There were about a zillion of those gorgeous shells with the pink inside on that beach and I didn't even think to get off and pick one up!  We picked up a few interesting rocks on this beach in NZ but there were very few shells.

We stopped at a little op-shop on the way.  There was a cute little lady there named Glennis.  She showed me a book on Christ and meditation that she was reading.  In return, I gave her a Book of Mormon and a Finding Faith in Christ DVD.  She was excited about that.  She said she was going to leave them out and maybe her children would see them and get some ideas.  She was a shiny person and I will never forget her little cute face.  There was not a lot more to see on the way to Te Anau except for the Southern Alps becoming closer and bigger.  They are really amazing.  A lot of the inland country here reminded me of home.

In Te Anau, we stayed at a nice little B&B called the Shakespeare Inn.  It was really nice and the host was so helpful.  He told us what we needed to go and see on our way to Milford Sound.  We wandered around town and watched an awesome video about Fjordland which Milford Sound is part of.  The photography was breathtaking and the music was great.  There was no naration and that was perfect.  We bought a copy of the video so we can see it again and again.  It is kind of strange here.  We had hoped to get a few things for kids and grandkids as rememberances but there is not all that much commercialization here.  Ken couldn't even find anything that said Milford Sound on it.  I think he was a little disappointed.

On the way to the sound on Saturday, we stopped in a place that has an interesting podocarp forest.  It was easy for me to see why the Lord of the Rings movies were shot here.  The trees are covered with all kinds of moss.  There are big burls on the trees that give you the feeling that there are trolls and hobbits and strange creatures at every turn.  There are lots of holes in the trees that look like something might pop into or out of them at any time.  Ken stood under a big burl that looked like a sort of deformed buffalo.  The kids would love it there.  Your imagination kind of runs wild.  We also stopped at Mirror Lakes and that is really beautiful.  The water is perfectly calm and them mountains are reflected there.  The lake looks like it has the real mountain and the mountains look misty and distant.

Milford Sound was an amazing place.  We had sunshine almost the whole trip and so we didn't have to contend with rain.  The scenery leaves you at a loss for words.  Our sound cruise was on a big sailing ship called the Milford Mariner.  They also use it for overnight cruises but they are even more pricey than the day cruises.  The ship went right up under one waterfall and Ken and I were at the front so we got that experience close up and personal and a little wet!  We saw lots of seals but mostly we were inpressed by the mountains that rise straight out of the ocean.  There are tons of waterfalls and this was a dry day.  The colors of blue you see are incomparable. It was a great trip.

We stopped at a place called The Chasm on the way back.  It is an unbelievable waterfall.  You can hear it and feel it before you see it.  It roars so loud!  It was my favorite shade of aqua and it rushed through these cut rocks in a way that I can't even explain.  I could have stayed there for hours.  The colors were amazing, the rock formations cut by the water were incredible and the sound was something else.  All in all, the Milford Sound area was an unforgetable experience.  On the way out to Queenstown, we left the manager of the Inn a Book of Mormon and said good bye to a lovely experience.

On to Queenstown.  It is the Park City of New Zealand only it sits on a huge lake.  We got an amazing deal at the Queenstown Hilton.  It was easily the nicest place we have stayed in years.  It is across the lake on a peninsula away from the main town so it is quiet and relaxed.  We really enjoyed our time there just relaxing with our fireplace and the patio doors open to enjoy the rain which came while we were there.  We went on the gondola to the top of a peak above the lake and watched people going on the luge and bungy jumping as well as mountain biking.  Being the adventurer, risk takers that we are, we decided against bungy jumping!  Sorry Jase, we are not up to your daring level.

We said good bye to Queenstown and headed home having had a wonderful time and having done a little missionary work as well.  We seem to be able to make a lot of contacts while we are out and about on our little wanders.  We are still looking at each other and saying, "Is this really happening!"  To top it off, we got lots of texts on the way home telling us our investigators had come to church and that there were close to 90 there.  What better way to top off a wonderful trip.