Reflections on Being Home

It has been a whole month since we returned home from New Zealand.  It has been a whirlwind of activity.  We arrived on our anniversary, Monday the 25th of November which is also when we left.  I wrote about the little family we baptized and we were able to stop on the way to the airport to see them one last time.  Our good friends Michael and Pat who are our New Zealand family took us to the airport and they were so patient about it.  We had lots of luggage and a couple of stops which they helped with wholeheartedly.  We also got a call from our last convert to contact us.  He sobbed and sobbed and said he hadn't called before because he couldn't bear to say good bye to the only people who had treated him so kindly.  That is a little exaggeration but we really do care for him and his son.
We feel really blessed to have been able to see all of our converts before we left.  It was very hard to say good bye to Michael and Pat at the airport and pretty tearful when we read the letter Pres. Paea left on our doorstep.  Ken loves him so much as do I.

On arriving home, we were met at the airport by our four children, Heather, Jason, Jenny and Micah.  They are the ones who saw us off because we couldn't stand to say good bye to the whole family there.  We were a wee bit disappointed to see only four of the family there but that changed as soon as we saw "The Plan"!  We got to the house and the lawn was covered with yellow balloons all staked down with golf tees.  There were posters everywhere and the Christmas lights were up.  We were quided through the house to the back yard where all the rest of the family was standing in a fully lighted Pergola which had been constructed for our anniversary.  Those smiling faces lit and set aglow by tiny Christmas lights will always be in my memory.

Next we were taken into the house which had been cleaned and made spic and span and fully stocked with any kind of food we could think of.  We were shown the new bathroom floor the kids had installed as well as the complete master bath redo that they had done as well.  Everything was beautiful and they all worked so hard to make it that way.  They had prepared a complete Mexican dinner for us too.  How did they know how much we had missed Mexican food. LOL!  We also received Harts drinks and Daylight donuts at the airport.  We ate dinner and hugged and cried and laughed and loved.

I couldn't believe how much the kids had grown.  Almost every one of them was much bigger than I remembered.  We didn't get a full sense of the growth from Skype.  Some are approaching me in height and a couple have their sights set on beating grandpa.  My little baby Lexie was walking and talking and looking very old.  She is a funny little thing who while a baby still sometimes makes you forget how old she is by the grownup things she says and does.  Our kids were becoming young men and young ladies quickly.  The only thing I regret a bit is missing this part of their growing up but they do it no matter where we are don't they.

Our ward seems much different with so many of our beloved brothers and sisters passed on or changed.  We lost Anna Carter, Von Bennett, Walden Johnson, David Phelon and Phil Marquis in the few months before our return.  We also lost Jack Batchler, Pres. Clyde Hill and Bishop Hyatt .  We will miss them.  We were happy to see so many also doing well in spite of many problems.  Our ward had changed much.  There were lots of move ins and outs.  We have many new folks to get to know and hope we can do it quickly.  Our old friends are still friends and now we have so many new ones to count.  We are grateful for the support that the ward has shown us mostly through their prayers and letting us know about important events.

Returning home has seemed to be very difficult for me.  Ken says that is a sign that my mission was successful.  I miss our friends and family in New Zealand.  Often I don't know what to do with myself but then the kids come round and help me figure it out.  My daughter says I need to give myself time but I have never been very good at that.  Two days after we got back, I stood in the middle of Walmart crying and asked Ken if we could go back.  He just looked at me like he didn't know what to do with me and smiled.  He then took my hand led me through the checkout and took me home to listen to my rant.

I did love this mission and I am torn.  I love to be back with my friends and family here but I miss those loved ones there.  I felt useful and helpful there and I loved sharing the gospel.  I guess I will just have to find my place here and reinvent myself once again.  I have done it before so it is not like I don't know how but I haven't felt this lost in a very long time.  Fortunately, I have Heavenly Father to help me figure it out along with all the sweet loved ones here!

I Will Remember: People

This is my last post from my mission assignment here in Timaru, NZ.  Though I still have "heaps" in my head to write down, that will have to come at some later date.  For now, I just want to record my feelings for what is most important of this whole experience, the people.

Last night was our "going away" party and today we spoke in our little branch for the last time.  I have been crying at the drop of a hat most of the week.  It has only accelerated the last couple of days. Yesterday we went around and said "good bye" to lots of the places and we have said good bye now to almost all of the people.  It has been very difficult for me and I think for Ken as well.

We said good bye to the little Dutch/Russian couple we have visited every couple of weeks for a year now.  We left with so much more to learn from them.  We said good bye to the couple we have been teaching regularly since July.  Their lives are so interesting and they are determined to come to SLC to be baptized.  We'll be there.  We said good bye to what I feel was my first real friend here in Timaru along with her husband and son.  I hit it off with her immediately and grew to love all of them.  None of the fore mentioned are members but we love them just the same.

At the party we were sung to by our lovely Maori Branch President.  Ken has come to look on him as a brother.  He has a wonderful heart created from a long road of heart break!  We will miss him and his sweet wife and daughter so very much.  We were sung to by some beautiful woman, a lovely mum, daughter and granddaughter and two other wonderful sisters who stay strong and stalwart even though there is no male support in their homes.  They have lovely voices and beautiful hearts.  I had a wonderfully talented young man to play my favorite piece from Forest Gump on the piano.  I hope his gift serves him well.  It was extremely touching.

The little Maori "sister" who connected with us early on when we found pictures of her ancestor with our ancestor, serving the church here at the turn of the century was there.  The Elders stood and sang some songs for us.  The lovely man who has been coming to FHE since the first cried as he stood to say the closing prayer.  Our friend who held parties and invited non-members as part of her missionary effort led us in "I Am A Child of God".  We had 8 non-members present at the party.

At other times we saw our little mom and 4 kids.  She is now in the RS presidency.  Her nana was there too.  We will miss them much!  We will also miss the mom and three kids that were the first baptized.  She texted to say good bye as she lives in another town.  The boy who's dad baptized him after dad was baptized by Ken rang us up and said good bye.  The quote, "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care comes to mind."  We cared!

I know I have missed many and I could go on and on but there are so many who have a part of our hearts with them.  We will never forget any of them.  How could we, they have become our family.  Good bye Timaru town and our friends here and in other parts of New Zealand.  We have loved you much and it was all worth it!

To Our Children and Grandchildren (and anyone else who cares to read this)

Dad and I have talked about this much while we have been away from you in the far land of New Zealand, Aotearoa, The Land of the Long White Cloud.  What have we talked about?  We have talked about the effect this experience has had on each of you.  We hope you remember it for a long, long time. 

The hardest thing to do in coming here was not going through the tests or the application or the money we had to find to be able to do it or the waiting to come here.  It was not leaving our house or selling the car.  It was not going to a new land that we knew very little about.  It was not going to a place that we knew virtually no one.  It was not new customs or old traditions or learning to understand the Queen's English. 

The hardest thing was leaving all of you when we love and care about each of you so very much.  It was missing the birthdays and the baptisms and the Black Belt tests and all of the dance and music recitals.  It was missing all the little milestones for which we have normally been present.  It was the hugging and the kissing and the talking and the crying.  It was the learning and the growing and the totally deep understanding even in differences that exists in a family that truly, truly cares for each other.

We see very little of that depth of caring here and we cherish it more than ever before but the point is, THE POINT IS, we were willing to give up something we wanted badly now for something we knew would be a pattern for the future.  We know that while this has been very hard for all of us, it teaches you that it is important to do hard things for the betterment of others.  Because we have done this, we have learned things we could have learned no other way.  We appreciate each other like we never have before and we appreciate you in a way not possible had we not been separated from you.

We have seen you love and support one another without us.  I don't know what that means to you but it means a great deal to dad and I.  We have seen you be there for us and for each other.  We have seen growth in you that you perhaps do not see in yourselves.  We have seen the fruits of your labors as well as ours.

We expect to see videos and pictures of many events that we missed.  We hope you remember why we were not there.  We have often thought, "What can we say if we miss this thing."  We counteracted that with, "What would we tell the Lord if we didn't do this thing we undertook to do."

We now understand even better the depth and breadth of our love for one another lies in our commitment to do hard things for the greater good.  We hope we pass on a legacy of loyalty, love, faith, commitment to do the right things for the right reasons, to give up what we want now for for something that will make a better future for all of us.

I would never change this in spite of it's difficulty.  It has made us and you better children of our Heavenly Father and better brothers and sisters in Christ.  NOTHING ELSE is of so great an import!

So This is What It Feels Like!

Ever since I was old enough to understand, I have wondered what the feeling was that missionaries always talked about when they came home.  I have wondered why it was so hard for them to leave and why even though they really wanted to come home, it was a bitter-sweet experience.  Well, now I understand.

Some missionaries don't have this feeling.  Some of them can hardly wait for the time to go home to come.  We have seen a few of them here.  They are "trunky" from the day they come 'til the day they leave.  They make it hard for themselves and for everyone else.  We try to help them get over it but they just don't get it.  They don't seem to understand that if you love the people and throw yourself into the work, it goes by too fast and then you are in this stage that Ken refers to as the "long slow death".

We are excited to be coming home to our fabulous, amazing family but, like the little graphic on the Branch President's wall here, our hearts are torn.  We desparately want to go home to our family but our hearts are torn and bleeding.  We have come to love the people here so much.  We have seen the mysterious workings of the Lord in so many ways.  We have been a part of conversion and healing.  We have loved and laughed and cried with many.  We want to go home but a part of us wants to stay.

I hate to leave our investigators that didn't quite get to the font.  We love them and have great hopes for them in the future.  One husband and wife want to come to Salt Lake to be baptized.  It is a long and complicated story that has led him especially to believe that when he comes to SLC, he will have come home.  We are hoping that he may come to realize that he needs the help of the Holy Ghost before he can collect enough money to come.  I worry about that though I have no doubt that he is sincere in his very real desire.  I worry about our converts.  Will they stay strong enough?  Will they get the support they need?   I guess that now, I have to be like Heavenly Father and trust that the hands we leave all of them in will be strong yet tender enough to do what is right for them.

I have intermittent crying jags as does Ken.  Something will remind us of someone and the water works go on.  We had Stake Conference today and we said good bye to all those people in Christchurch that we have some to love.  Pres. Kezerian spoke and told us good bye.  I cried.  Michael was conferred the Melchizedek PH.  I cried.   Many people said their good byes to us.  I cried.  This next and last week will be harder than I ever imagined because this experience has been better than I ever imagined.

I won't quit crying for a few days and yes, John you will be able to trace me on your airlines tracker by the vapor trail I leave behind but I wouldn't have it any other way.  It has been so hard but so worth it!  This is what it feels like.  If you don't like to experience feelings, don't do this and certainly don't put your heart in it.

A Big Chunk of My Heart!

Well, it has already started!  Yesterday I said good bye, up close and personal to Mt. Cook.  A couple of weeks ago I said good bye to Moeraki Boulders and Oamaru.  Today, I started the long, painful process of good bye to a whole lot of people that I have come to know and to love.

I have been crying a good part of the day already.  I love this place so much and it is just dawning on me just how much.  I didn't really understand how attached you can get to some brothers and sisters that you had never known before in such a short time but then, I had never been on a mission before.  I had never committed my heart to spreading the gospel to everyone I meet, I had never been part of baptizing people into the true gospel of Christ in such a hands on way.  I will be leaving a big chunk of my heart here in a little place named Timaru.

Ken has always said that he could tell how successful a missionary has been by how they act when they get ready to leave and go home.  If they have a difficult time leaving, then they have truly served.   If you judge it in that way, our mission has been very successful at least for us.  My heart and mind have changed in so many ways that I can't count them.  My philosophy has changed, my understanding has changed, my desires have changed and I will never be the same again.  At least I certainly hope that I won't quickly slip back into my old ways.  That is the last thing I want.

Yes!  It has been the best of times and it has been very difficult at times.  I wouldn't dare to say that it has been the worst of times.  It has been nothing near the worst.  I guess it is a relative thing.  I do know that I am so blessed.  God has given me an opportunity that many do not receive.  I hope that I have been a profitable servant.  I know at least a few whose lives will be ever changed in part because Sister and Elder Jarvis came to a little town in New Zealand which they knew nothing about and opened their hearts and minds.  I now know what it truly is to trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not unto mine own understanding.

I would never have chosen this place nor would I have put me in this particular place knowing what I know about me but the Lord and his servants knew more and I am the biggest beneficiary of this service.  I want to thank my sweetheart and my family for encouraging me to do this thing that seemed so very big at the outset but which became more and more comfortable as I watched the Lord's plan take shape.  I can honestly say that I have not had one minute of anxiety about coming here.  I do have anxiety about leaving, especially the people that we have baptized.  I do know that like Heavenly Father sent us on our own, it is time for these people to prove themselves herewith and I have to trust that they will do the right thing.

Yes, I can leave Mt. Cook and Moeraki Boulders, Oamaru, Waimate and Timaru, Dunedin and Christchurch and the gorgeous, gorgeous sea, the clouds, the flowers and the birds.  They will each keep a part of my heart but the biggest chunk will be with the beautiful friends I have made here in New Zealand.  I hope I don't waste a single minute that I have left.

I'm Still Becoming

Been home from the temple trip for 5 days already.  I spent a couple of them being sick and not getting what I wanted to write down so I had better do it now.

We had the opportunity to go to the Hamilton Temple on the 8th.  We didn't arrive there until late in the evening because of many frustrating reasons and I was really wound.  Ken and I had received a call previously asking us if we had seen the temple film yet.  The person calling said they had been to three temples on one day and were planning two more temples for that day.  I guess they had forgotten that we live 800 miles from the temple and so it is a big deal to get to the temple just once a year.

Our stake plans a trip every October.  There is housing at the temple but they are closing everything in a plan to take down and rebuild.  Plans for lodging and travel were really tenuous this year and so lots of people couldn't go.  Last year we had 415 going but this year there were lots fewer.  It made a big impression on me how lucky we are at home to have so many temples so close.  It takes many months of planning and the better part of a thousand dollars to take the two of us to the temple for a few days here.

It was a great experience which is likely to be our last here.  We saw the new film which we really loved because of the thinking it allows you to do.  We were witnesses at our last session and Ken got to baptize our branch kids including one of our converts for about 220 people.  That was awesome.  We got many new insights and thoughts from all of this.  We are so blessed.  We went to a wedding today and it was nice out in the open air but it is not the same as a sealing in the temple.  I feel so fortunate to have the blessings of being sealed to our family in the temple of the Lord.

We got to take a couple of days and look around the north island while we were there but it didn't seem of much import when compared with the blessings of going to a sacred place in order to bless so many others.  My perspective has changed so much on this mission.  I have so much more appreciation of all the blessings of the gospel.  I hope that when I return home, I don't lose that perspective too quickly.  It has made an important difference in who I am becoming.

Not A Typical Day In "Paradise"

Well, with the perspective for today, I look on yesterday and realize how quickly the world can bounce up and down in our little corner. No, we haven't had an earthquake in the literal sense but emotionally, it has been somewhat like a very slow quake.

We woke very early yesterday to correct some problems with Ken's work at home and to make a call to my brother who is again in the hospital.  Kent seemed to be in good spirits in spite of the fact that he had made it through another crisis and for this I was very grateful.  Kent's and Jeanne's year has not been an easy one and I am so grateful they are doing as well as they are after Jeanne's surgery and Kent's hospitalization in a few days time.

We got ready and went out on our appointments as we would on a typical day.  We had set up three and the first two went well.  For the third one, we had made a plan which we felt inspired to make and it couldn't have gone better than the plan.  You could feel the spirit heavily and it was one of those moments that you savor and enjoy for a while.  Our lesson plan was perfect and our investigators asked questions that led directly into what we wanted them to understand.  I got a little chastisement from him on using my artistic talents better and then we left, feeling pretty spiritually high.

On to our dear friends home for dinner with them and the elders.  It was a lovely dinner staged for my birthday with much love.  I couldn't help but wonder how our lives would be changing when we return home soon and think about those we would be leaving here.  We had cake and ice cream.  I received a dear "wee" card which Pat had made and I will cherish and we had a tiny fireworks show.  We finished up with lessons and discussion led by the elders.

We stayed a while after the elders left and discussed many things with our still fledgling members and then left for home after "family" prayers.  Ken went straight to the computer when we got home and there was an e-mail with pictures of our 12 year old granddaughter's latest accomplishment.  Seems like Brinna had shot her very first 3 point buck on the muzzleloader hunt.  We were so excited and happy for her.  She is her daddy's little buddy and his good hunting partner not to mention she may be training to be the next Annie Oakley.  Lots of venison in store for the Jarvis family!

Ken then went on Facebook.  I heard him say, "There is a beautiful picture of David and his girls!"  Things were okay until he read why the picture was on there.  Heather had posted it because her daddy had died.  Now, David has been a little miracle in our lives for about 45 years.  We were heart-broken along with possibly hundreds of others.  At the same time, we were excited at the prospect that David is free from his wheel chair and running full speed on the other side.  Our hearts ache for his family but they rejoice for him.

David is the 4th neighbor who has left us for a better world in the last month or so.  We had hoped to see all of them on returning home but I guess we will have to wait until we return HOME!  It is a weird feeling.  We will miss them all very much but perhaps we will miss David's indomitable spirit the most.  What an example he has been to us all of a life well lived in spite of daunting physical incapacity!  He is the prime example of making more than the most of what you have been given.  We'll miss you Anna Grace, Von, Walden and David but we will not be too far behind.

Give us a little time though, we still have some children to love and some grandchildren to help become all that they can be, much like Kathy has done for David.  Make the most of what you have and perhaps people will be saying beautiful things about you like David is having said about him.

Is There Time Enough? Have We Done All We Could?

When I first came here, I had no idea how hard it was going to be to get ready to leave.  Yup!  It is starting to hit me as I go see my new friends and family now.  We just spent a couple of pleasant hours with our branch president and his family who invited us to "tea".  We have grown to love them and so many others here.  We have never felt alone since we arrived.  The president and his sweetheart was in our living room the very first night and we have bonded with them and many others.

We have learned so much but the time flies faster and faster as the time to leave grows closer and we feel an urgency to do everything we can to leave this place better than when we came.  We hope we have done that.  Due to our presence helping the Lord, 12 new members exist in the area and have a different outlook on what is important in life.  We hope the "old" members have some different points of view because we came.

There is no way to assure that you have left a legacy so to speak but you do your best and hope that something you have done has touched a few.  We are still teaching a couple and when we leave their house each time our first question is, "Is there enough time!"  We hope there is but if not, we hope that others will take up our quest to give them heaven.

Only two months left.  So little time and so much still to do.  Will it be enough?  We can only do our best and hope the angels we are trying to call down remain to finish the work.

I Will Remember: Clouds, Sunrises and Sunsets

They say Montana is "Big Sky Country".  I love Montana and I love the big sky.  The sky here runs sea to sea, horizon to horizon.  It is easy to see how this country got the name Aotearoa because as the name implies, it really is the land of the long, white cloud.  Those long white clouds are amazing.

They fill the sky and then they are gone as fast as they came.  They are stratus, cumulous, nimbus and many other clouds, sometimes all at the same time.  They are tinged with cream, peach, gray, baby blue.  It is easy to use your imagination watching these clouds.  They are wispy and fluffy, cotton puffs and lambs wool.  They are heavy with rain or light "as a cloud".

I have taken dozens of pictures of just clouds.  I love the sunrises and the sunsets.  It is not uncommon to see Elder and Sister Jarvis madly dashing to the end of the street in the early morning when they realize there is an awesome "red sky at morning" over Washdyke ocean.  We grab our slippers, robes and both cameras and head out as fast as possible to catch that fleeting moment.  It doesn't last long.  Click, click, click and then it is gone but not to digital or our memories.

The sun comes up in a ball of fire and paints the whole sky with gorgeous shades of red, coral, purple and violet.  It is never the same.  In the evening, it reverses itself, setting over the southern alps.  the shades are often the same and are so awe inspiring.

There is nothing I like better than to look out the kitchen or lounge window to see some fantasy sculpture carved in the clouds, a tiger, a dog, an alligator.  It is amazing to be traveling through the mountains and see the puffs of smoky clouds hanging in over the peaks making them look as if they are "floating on a cloud".

I will miss these vistas of Aotearoa but they will always be carved in the clouds in my mind.

I Will Remember: The Ever Changing Sea

Until I lived in Timaru, I didn’t really understand what the phrase “the ever changing sea” meant exactly.   I have lived near water and visited many bodies of water but until I came here, I had never actually seen “the ever changing sea” with all its dynamics.  Never in all my experience have I seen a body of water like the one I now see daily from some vantage point.

The first thing I noticed about the Pacific Ocean near Timaru was the variety in color.  The color changes from moment to moment.  It goes in a matter of hours from sterling silver, that soft silver grey that blends into the stormy sky to brilliant turquoise that contrasts dynamically with the brilliant coral sunset.  It diffuses from sea foam  green  to turquoise to purple cobalt blue as the sun rides the shallow and the troughs, the rocks and deep trenches, fading to lavender blue as it nears the shore.  It is baby blue then lavender then foam swept aqua.  There seems no end to the colors it presents in a day.  It is silver grey, steel grey, taupe, gunmetal, pale aqua, teal, cobalt, navy, deep purple, lavender and on and on.

It is beautifully calm on a warm day with waves lazily lapping the sandy beach.  The beach echoes the ripples as the water pulls itself from the sand to the sea leaving zig-zag patterns of blingy, glittering gold, copper and silver.  It forms staggered waving patterns as it retreats.  Down the coast a way, as the breeze stiffens, it is roiling and boiling, an angry sea pulling rocks from the shingle beach then tossing them back like a boy throwing pebbles at a wall or better yet, a thousand boys throwing a million pebbles.  The sound is the same I surmise.  It devours and lays waste.  It pushes and pulls and rearranges everything in its path, a giant tumbler always polishing.

As the waves crash to the shore and pull themselves back, it creates more waves at the apex of each hit.  It slams into hidden rocky reefs and sends waves crashing helter-skelter at right angles to create even more waves.  There are waves surging everywhere and it is easy to see myself swallowed up by one rogue monster.

When it is really angry, it catapults logs in the air.  It is the color of creamy hot chocolate with cinnamon sticks floating in its frothy foam.  The rocks sound like a giant rain stick forever being upended by a never tiring child.   It billows and sprays and hisses at the gulls trying to make headway against the gale.  The birds look suspended in flight by the wind.  The water rolls into great curls, looking like the hair of a mermaid falling onto the sand.  It sweeps the beach clean and the friction polishes everything in its path, stones, wood, shell and bone become smooth in its wake.

On a sunny day further south, it becomes an entirely different scene as it creates gathers and tiers of a maiden’s ball gown, pale aqua blue.  She pulls her skirt coyly up to reveal layer after layer of ruffly, silken, spun lace frills spilling onto the golden sand.  It moves as she twirls and all the layers change from moment to moment.  She is dancing at sea  and the frills keep time to the music.  The sun slowly sets, the color of her dress deepens and the silken slips become strangely iridescent  in the light of the moon.  The light reflects off the moving layers creating ruffles and swirls.  The sea calms, the music quiets.  The ball is over and tomorrow all the moods of “the ever changing sea” will have changed.  The maid slips from her dress.  It falls to the floor.  It is now time to rest. 

He's Done It Again!

One of the most amazing parts of being on this mission is watching how the priesthood works when a man is listening to the spirit.  Last Thursday we had an appointment with some lovely people we met on the beach many months ago.  We gave them our card then and told them to give us a call if they wanted to go to the Family History Center in our little building.  Well, while we were in Greymouth, he finally called.  He said he needed to know who he was.  We made an appointment to meet him at the history center and went to do that after we got home.

We did some work the day we met but we also made an appointment to go to his home.  We wanted him to know that who he is isn't just about his genealogy.  He didn't believe that we would want to come to his house because it was "just ordinary".  He and his wife have a nice older home which they keep in good shape but it isn't fancy.  Never mind, neither are we.  We spent 2 hours there answering various questions and showing a couple of short videos about the church.  He was really intrigued and when we left, he told Ken that he had never had anyone teach him like that before nor had he ever been able to talk with someone so easily about such serious subjects.  We left him a Book of Mormon, a Bible, a Finding Faith in Christ video and a Restoration video as well as the video we showed the shorts from.

We met again at the FHC and did some more research, finding a couple of lines back several generations in a few hours.   He was amazed that we could find things so easily that he had been searching for years to obtain.  He invited us back this Friday.  He told us we could come anytime we wanted to and told Ken that we were "different" from all the other people he had talked with about religion.  He thought that we really must "believe it".  Interesting!

We had an incident with a person that behaved like a child and offended us as well last week.  I was pretty upset about it and so was Ken but when we went back, Ken remained totally calm and did a masterful job of explaining some very delicate things in a very sensitive way and so we parted later still friends.

On Sunday, we held a special priesthood meeting in the branch.  Ken had to get pretty direct with the men about stepping up to the plate and walking the walk.  He came out of it just fine.  It constantly amazes me how he summons the spirit and knows what to say and when to say it.  The directions about opening his mouth do not seem to cause him any problem at all.  He has total faith that what he says will come out right and it always does.

To our sons and grandsons, your grandpa and father is doing a masterful job that can only be done with the help of "The Master", the priesthood and the spirit.  You would do well to follow him.  Your families and many others will thank you for it.

A Whole Lot of Thinking Going On

I've had a lot of thinking to do this week.  There has been a lot happening and that seems to get the processes rolling in my head.  Sometimes Ken wishes they would stop! lol

We got to Skype all the kids on Father's Day.  It was great and we are again reminded how great our little family is.  Seems like they spend a whole lot of time working on helping other people and they truly amaze me.  Every single one of them had done something this week to help someone else.  There were big things and little things, major things and simple things but I can't help but be grateful for children who keep others in mind in spite of what is going on in their own lives.

Heather told me of a friend who has brain cancer and then he appeared on the screen.  He was his happy, usual self in spite of losing his hair and getting ready for a totally unrelated surgery on his hand the next day.  He absolutely amazes me with his positive attitude in spite of many huge trials in his life.  I don't think I know of anyone with so many friends.  They support him because he supports them.  Isn't that the way it should be?

Oh how I wish that was the case that I could see more often.  Right now I see lots of "I will take care of myself and I am not going out of my way for anyone else!"  It gets pretty daunting to see that everywhere you go.   Sometimes I really long to get back to my little home where more people are involved in helping each other rather than looking out only for themselves.  There seems to be so much selfishness in my world right now.

Ken just finished giving a blessing to a woman we don't even know.  She is close to death from cancer.  Her husband is an elder in the church but hasn't been active for years.  He had no idea how to give a blessing.  There didn't seem to be much comfort  in that room even though it was obvious that people thought she was a wonderful woman and were trying in their own ways to help.  I contrasted this to my family who would be totally supporting one another in whatever situation.  It was a painful contrast, a totally unknown person trying to provide comfort to a family who had little comfort or understanding of what was happening.

Fortunately, we get to work with a few super people who think in other terms.  We just baptized a little grandma, nana Dawn, who is totally engaged in helping her family get better.  Her granddaughter lives with her and started the whole process and they both seem to want to do what is right for themselves and their family, immediate and extended.  They have big hearts and big aspirations much like some of the others we have met here.  Seems like it is always a few that are holding the line and they have to work hard and be tough to do it!

I am so grateful I came on this mission.  It has been hard and frustrating and incomprehensible at times.  It has been amazing, awe inspiring and wonderful at others.  I have made many friends in the same sense as the Lord had friends and I have gained brothers and sisters in understanding of the gospel.  I have learned about Kiwis in all their varieties and I have seen beautiful things at every turn.
Though I have missed my family as never before, I have gained a new appreciation for them and I hope they have learned something about life and grandpa and grandma from the sacrifices we have all made.

I will never be sorry that I came.  I will be sorry to leave my relationships here.  I will never again be so happy to go home until that time that I go HOME for the last time.  Until then, I hope God grants me the ability to take everything from every day and make it work.

On Strong Women

My last post was about priesthood.  I wrote it because it means so much to me.  I'm writing this because it means just as much. 

I have met many strong women in my life.  Many of them were in my own family.  Many of them have been in the church.  There is a weird perception that women in the church, especially if they are "homemakers and moms", are just a little more than robots following some great man along.  This has not been my observation at all.  I find myself surrounded by strong women and wishing that they were surrounded by equally strong men but many of them are not.  It makes me even more grateful to know that I have become strong in part because I am backed by strength.

I have tons of pioneer ancestors, women who left everything to come to the Salt Lake Valley and beyond for the faith they chose to believe in.  I look back on many of them and think that "if they can do it, so can I".  They have been a deep and stabilizing force in my life even though they had no idea they would touch the life of anyone in this century.  They were physically strong and mentally tough.  They were survivors in the hardest of circumstances.  To them I pay homage for their courage and endurance.

I have had many positions in the church and community.  In all of them, I have been surrounded by strong women.  I think I have never met women who were stronger than those I worked with in the temple and the MTC.  No weeklings here for sure.  They had minds of their own and made decisions accordingly.  They were strong in word and in deed and didn't mind if someone knew it.  There were few if any mindless followers of anything there.  For the most part, they knew where they were going and why. 

The women I work here in the mission field with are strong women.  Many of them whom I live among are women on their own in the gospel.  They have made a decision and many of them have to do it on their own with considerable opposition or at least, minimal support.  They amaze me as they come to church week after week without husbands and/or children, hoping that those same will someday embrace what they know to be true.  They join the church in their later years, again alone or at younger ages with children to care for and no husbands to support them.  They all see that there is a real future in this gospel through their Savior.  These decisions are not made lightly.

What is often disappointing to me is the little if any recognition these women get for all they do.  The men here are an interesting lot.  Rugby and drinking is the culture of so many that it is difficult to count.  Children spend their whole lives trying to get the attention of their fathers who are on the field, at the bar or in a party with their "mates" while the mothers who stay at home holding the family together get virtually no mention.   Why do men think that they have no allegiance to this family they were willing to create but take no responsibility for.  I know a "boy" here who has 7 children and proudly states it but has custody of or responsibility toward none.  A sad commentary this.

Thanks to you moms who are there to hold these families together.  Thanks to all you strong women who give me reason to try and remain strong.  Thanks to the women of the world who really believe that the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.  It may not seem so but it is true.

Believe in Priesthood Power

It is 3 o'clock in the morning and the spirit as the prophets would put it "has constrained me that I should write these things".  At the beginning of this post I don't know why or for whom.  Maybe it is for me but I cannot sleep and the spirit keeps telling me to get up and write this..  This is not a common occurrence in my life but I cannot ignore it.  Ken would be the first to tell you that I can sleep through almost anything.

Since we have been here, it am beginning to realize the real power of the priesthood.  More especially, I am realizing the blessing of having it daily in my home.  As I lay awake thinking about it, realizing how rare it is to have that privilege when surrounded by people who don't have it, I began to think about all the times in my life that it has been manifest.

The first one that came to mind was when Jamie died and the peace it brought me when nothing else would bring me peace.  I called on it almost daily in those times, whether by the laying on of hands or prayer, when there seemed no peace to be had, it protected me.  Next, I thought of the time when I was expecting her and  we didn't know I was pregnant yet.  I was so sick.  They thought I had lymphoma or some rare disease.  They quarantined me at the hospital until they figured out what it was, shingles in my sciatic nerve and chicken pox at the same time.  Only after tons of pain killer and several x-rays did they come to this conclusion along with the conclusion that I was carrying a baby that had been bombarded by all of this.  I had a priesthood blessing at three months in the pregnancy and I very literally felt that baby "flip" inside me to allow me to know that she was going to be fine.

With every pregnancy thereafter, there were multiple blessings.  Some of comfort,  some simply miraculous that led to positive results.  With Jen, my water broke at 5 months.  I carried her for 2 months more and no one will convince me that she is not a miracle.  When I did deliver her, she was healthy and strong.  She literally "saved my life" in a time of great despair.  With Micah, it kept me going when I hemorrhaged internally on losing his twin.  It kept him alive one Christmas Eve when the ward gathered to fast and pray for a baby not yet born.  It kept us going though he was very sick, through night after night of monitors beeping when we didn't want them to, signaling he had stopped breathing.  Ten months later, it comforted me when after surgery I got an infection that sent my temperature soaring to 106 and I heard a voice calling my name.  It was not the voice of anyone standing around me.  I can only describe it as a clear voice coming from somewhere beyond the veil calling my name.  I can remember thinking I can't go yet I have to raise these children and I was blessed to stay.

It brought me peace when President Benson laid his hands on Micah's little head and blessed him that he "would have the health and strength of mind and body to accomplish everything he was sent to earth to do".  I have used that priesthood power to pull me through so many terrible times.  I have been so blessed to be surrounded by it.  Whether it was Ken or our dads, my sons or my brothers and now my grandsons and nephews and friends, brothers in the gospel, it is all the same.  I have only to ask. 

It has not always brought the results I had hoped, as in Jamie's death, but it has always brought with it peace and the knowledge that if I remain faithful, it will bring the "right" outcome.  It has always brought with it courage and strength.  It has always buoyed me up and seen me through.  It has helped me to understand that I very literally am a daughter of God and that no matter what, though I go through trials, He is always with me, loving me and has given a gift to bless my and so many other lives.

Michael, this is for you.  Don't doubt!  You were saved for this time in your life to have this gift.  It will bring you nothing but blessings.  Don't doubt it, only believe.  You will never regret it!  Sarah, this is for you.  Your sons will be safe in Heavenly Father's care to accomplish all that they were sent to earth to do.   Whatever needs doing you can do if you call on this power to help you do it.  You are surrounded by many good priesthood holders to help you.  Amanda, this is for you.  Get the help that is available to you through earthly means and then seek that priesthood at every turn.  It will bring you peace and comfort but only if you use the other resources available to you.  You know it!  You father is living breathing evidence of it's power.  All the doctors skill would not have saved him had he not had those blessings.  To all my children, honor this power!  In this day and time of sin and disobedience, it is a very real port in any storm!

To the rest of you who read this, just believe in whatever circumstance you find yourself, you are not alone while this power exists on earth as the "pure love of Christ".  All you need to do is ask with priesthood power and whatever is best for you through the Lord's will can be given you if only you believe.

Those of Like Minds

Ken and I have had a bit of a tough time the last couple of weeks.  As you know, our liberal NZ people passed a gay marriage bill this week.  We had a lady in the branch who isn't really well acquainted with some of our doctrine ask us what the church position on that was (hello, read the Proclamation on the Family).  She will shortly be getting a missionary visit to bring her up to date.

I guess that is the problem I see everywhere I look.  There are many in our branch who are so young or so uninformed or indifferent in the gospel that they don't know.  It becomes very discouraging and disheartening especially after just having conference, that so many don't know so much.  Ken just looked up a talk from Elder Faust that was given to 2500 lawyers at a convention that clearly explains how the Law of the Lord always trumps the law of the land.

Unfortunately, it is the common practice here to do just the opposite.  We have RM's living in partnerships (common law marriages) often with 2 or 3 children and they think they are okay because the law says it is okay.  The younger generations have pretty much given up on living the laws of God and their parents make it easy for them to do that.  Mom and dad say they can decide what they want to do because they are old enough etc.  I'm sorry but a 10 or 12 year old is not old enough to decide everything about their lives.  We know many young teens that are drinking with full consent of mom and dad.

I have a really hard time wrapping my mind around this lack of desire for parents to "train up a child in the way he should go" but I am surrounded by it.  Even some members have this attitude.

Sooooooo, when I come home and start to complain, just remind me how glad I should be to have "like minded" people surrounding me.  I, at this point in time am really looking forward to that little blessing.  Right now, it is looming large in my life.  Ken struggles to teach the very few priesthood holders here how that works.  Lack of PH leadership is huge in our little branch.  I think he can't wait to come home to his quorum and have a spirited discussion with those who really know.

My best friends and support are an older couple 75 and 70 years old that we just baptized.  They don't know a lot of doctrine yet but they know what is right and that is really big to me.  I feel like I can go to them at any point in time and I will be talking to a "like minded" person.  The older generation here, I'm talking around my age and older seem to get it.  They may have been Catholic or whatever else all their lives but they rely on the Lord and have been good family people etc.  They are pretty appalled at what is happening here and around the world right now.

Thanks my family, neighbors and friends for thinking like I do, supporting the values I support, giving your hearts and souls to the right things and generally being there for one another.  Only now am I beginning to realize what an important commodity that is in this world.

A Real Christmas Present

We've been waiting and waiting.  It seemed a long way off and now it is over.  We got our real Christmas present this weekend.  Just as at home, we got part of it on Christmas Eve (Apr. 5) and part on the real Christmas day (Apr. 6).  The baptisms and confirmations are over and all that is left is the satisfied feeling you get when you give someone the best Christmas present ever.

Friday, April 5, our sweet couple showed up to take that big step.  She simply glowed even though she was shaking in her shoes.  He was looking pretty great in his shirt, tie and jacket.  He was nervous too but not visibly shaking.  She is such a tiny thing and it was quite a chore to find some clothing for her to be baptized in.  We finally decided on some pants and one of my white shirts.  I had to hem the pants up about 8 inches.  He fit just right in one of the jumpsuits we have here at the branch.  There was much picture taking as is always the case and it kept everyone busy and semi-calm. 

It is a big step for anyone to take but for a couple who are 70 and 75 years old, it seemed even bigger.  When Elder Jarvis said the baptismal prayer, there was a huge pause in part of it.  I knew something was going on but didn't know what.  When I asked him later, he said it was like an electric shock shooting through his body the spirit was so apparent.  She came out of the water and hugged him tight.  He then went in and all went well.  Only one time apiece. 

The thing I wished most to have a picture of was too sacred to think of taking a picture.  It will always be in my mind.  Ken and I were the only ones who could see it.  As he came up the baptistery stairs, she hugged him and he hugged her tightly for a long time.  The tears were running down her face.  She had a smile as big as it could get.  I hugged them both.  If we had baptized no one else, it would have been worth it to see this one.  WAIT!  Haven't I said this before.  Interesting that the feeling has been the same with all of our baptisms.

The baptisms on the 6th were equally satisfying, a mother and her two beautiful children, 12 and 9.  They were all great but mom was the best.  She was shining as she came out of the font.  She is the mom that said to us, "Why wouldn't anyone want this for their family."  I remember saying to her, "I don't know.  Why wouldn't they?"

All of this has made so much sense to each of them.  There have been a couple of things involved in all of this that have been very apparent to me.  One was that these people really were prepared for this event in their lives.  Two was that I am married to a master teacher who takes full advantage of the spirit and the priesthood power he holds in knowing how to go about teaching what is necessary to bring these children of Heavenly Father along in the way they need to be brought.  What a good example he is to me and all of them of loving guidance.  I am still so grateful for this present I have been given this day after Christmas.

For the Love of It

For many years now, I have thought of myself as being pretty good at loving people.  I think that has come about partly because of my basic nature but also partly because of the tests God has seen fit to send into my life.  We all get tests.  Many we don't enjoy but they force our growth.  My growth came in learning to love that which at outward appearance would seem difficult to love. 

When we were told that we had 2 deaf children and then lost our third child in 10 days time, I didn't want to even live let alone view this test as a vehicle for love and growth.  Looking back on those days is still somewhat painful but only from this point of view can I see what really came about because I was forced to confront something that I otherwise would not have done.  From the point of view of age and experience, I can see the love that Heavenly Father had for me when he gave me that test all in one big chunk instead of 3 smaller ones.  A friend of mine once told me, "You can only hurt so much."  I think Heavenly Father knew that and so gave me that trial all at once in a sense to help me have to "survive" it only once.  I didn't understand it at all until I had Micah and discovered I went through that pain and mourning for something lost all over again in a time when I was better prepared for it. 

I have learned to hold dear those experiences of those days because they were part of making me what I am now.  They brought me to the place where I saw that there was much more to life than the superficial things we cling so tightly to.  They brought me to a place where I learned to love the less than perfect Dale's and Theresa's, Rob's and Tony's, all the less than perfect people that so enriched my life.  My journey in the deaf community taught me to see and love people as they really are, as Heavenly Father sees them.  My time at the Transient Services Office taught me the same.  Some of these people made their own pain in a sense, some of them did not but they are all God's children and my brothers and sisters.  I have never really had any prejudices or pre-conceived ideas about people in general but if I had, they would have been swept away but the love that washed over me while working with all of these, God's children.

Coming here to New Zealand has been another of those experiences.  I have never met so many people that I felt I had known before.  It happens again and again almost everywhere I go here.  Usually the people I meet and "know" are not the well to do types but the simple, tender and sensitive spirits that I find everywhere I turn.  They have multiple problems, racial problems, family problems, problems with abuse in all it's forms, normal everyday frustrating problems.  It has taken me in most cases almost no time at all to learn to love them.  I hate what I see all about them but it isn't hard to love them, my brothers and sisters.  My capacity to love has grown by leaps and bounds.  I have found a whole new family here.  They don't look like me or talk like me.   They don't in some cases even think like me but I love them still.  They frustrate and confuse me.  They baffle and confound me.  They teach me and I am a willing student.  The Spirit helps to fill my cup and often it runs right over.

This joyful feeling!

Today as I sat in church, thinking about the people I have learned to love here, I got the most lovely feeling.  Lovely is a word used often here in New Zealand.  I have become quite attached to it because it is perfect for explaining how I feel right now.  I gave a talk on "Preparing for Ordinances" and it reminded me of some great experiences but standing there, looking out on that little band in this "wee small" church made my heart swell.  I could see the little couple from the last post who I am getting closer to every day.  They already fit into this congregation like a glove and they aren't even baptized yet.  I could see the young single mum with her little brood.  Three of them will be getting baptized on the 6th of April.  The other two are too young but their time will  come and the decisions of these last few days will change their lives forever.  I couldn't see the father who fought for his son.  He and that son are in difficult circumstances right now but my heart was with them in their struggle to strengthen themselves through the church.  I didn't see the little family who were baptized in October and who moved to another town where they are active in the church but I remembered the trip north with them last Sunday to receive her patriarchal blessing.  It was a wonderful trip and one I hope to make a few more times before we leave this place.

What if I had said no to this experience.  What if I had "chosen" the place I wanted to go rather than let the Lord choose for me.  What if I had decided that I really didn't want to go on a mission because I deserved some rest and I wanted to enjoy my grandchildren. What if, what if, what if.  I hope my sweet little Ashy who cried for grandpa and grandma the other day will someday understand that I gave up a little time with her which is precious and dear, to perhaps give eternity to some other wonderful people whom I have grown to love as my own.  Her tears have not gone unnoticed and I do miss her so very much but the tears of others have taken my heart and made it more tender as well. 

I hope that all my family will somehow come to understand that grandpa and grandma did a very hard thing in leaving them to bring about a couple of things of great importance.  One of those things is to bring the gospel to a few people who I know were chosen for us to meet.  God gives his love to each of us individually and often through other people.  The other thing is to set a precident and heritage for our family.  We want our family to know that missionary "sacrifices" bring about great joy in the long run.  I have never had these particular feelings before in my life.  I want all of my family to participate in the feeling you get when you see the "light" very literally turned on in someone else' eyes and life.  It is like no other feeling in the world and when you feel it, you want it more.

This joyful feeling is the one that has driven prophets and apostles and missionaries throughout the history of the gospel to want to share it again and again and again.  It is the knowledge that another one of your brothers and sisters has been given the opportunity to go home again, clean and unspotted by the world to live in the presence of Heavenly Father and all of the brotherhood that exists there.  There is no feeling quite like it.  It is a change of heart that makes you less of a selfish soul and more in tune with the spirit.  It is the feeling that quiets you, calms you and makes you whole.  This truly is a joyful feeling and it is worth the pursuit.

Am I Willing?

After my bishop told me long ago that a mission was not for me at the time, I pretty much decided that I would never have the experiences I hear RMs talk about.  Turns out my bishop was right because I ended up marrying one of those returned missionaries who told me of even more of those amazing experiences.  I loved to hear the stories but was pretty well resigned to the fact that I would never have those experiences even after we put our mission papers in.  I was so wrong.

Today I had another one of those "I don't understand because I have never had them" experiences.  The difference is that now I do understand because I have had more than one.  It seems though that each one eclipses the previous one and so you forget for a while but as Ken says, "It gets in your blood!"  He's right!  Each one becomes even more precious than the one before.  Our first one was great!  The second one was awesome!  This one was amazing!  I have run short of words to really describe the feeling.  Ken says too that it is hard to find words to explain a spiritual experience and he is right but I am going to try.

We met a lovely couple right after we arrived here.  There is no way you could call it a chance meeting as we have discussed with them many times.  We were headed home from a walk, were at our front door and Ken said, "Let's walk down to the nursery."  The nursery was just down the street.  We had no reason to go there in the middle of winter and with no garden to plant but we went.  As we were talking to the nursery man, a car pulled in, a man got out and made a b-line straight to us.  He looked right at our name tags, asked us who we were, made some small talk and invited us to his house.  We went.  This began a really nice friendship.

We were together often and talked of many things including families and politics and religion but we did not feel it was the right thing at the time to become too serious about gospel talks.  We got to know them really well.  We would call each other occasionally and get together at one another's homes.  We found we had a great deal in common.  She wrote in our journal that we were of different religions but we believed the same things.  That was several months ago when we had them to dinner one night.  We invited them to the branch Christmas party and that sparked more curiousity.   They felt a closeness to the members and noticed that "no one seemed to have an agenda".  In this time, we had numerous experiences that prepared us all for today.

Three weeks ago, on the verge of forgetting about teaching the gospel and possibly the friendship, we took a chance because it seemed we were making no progress in our friendship or the gospel.  Ken said, "Will you let us come and 'do what we do'."  The husband answered that he thought we had been doing what we do.  We told him we wanted to give them formal lessons and they agreed.  We started teaching them and giving them more and more church materials.  We invited them to church and they came.  We kept teaching, they kept coming. 

The first week they came to church we were not there and they stayed only for sacrament which was fast meeting.  The second week they stayed the whole time.  Last Tuesday we asked him to pray (because he hadn't been when we asked before).  Last Thursday she told us she was not going to join the church just because someone said she should.  Since she was alone that night, we invited her to read and pray about it.  Saturday, when Elder Jarvis and a stake visitor went to their home, he prayed aloud in the actual order of prayer.  He prayed again Sat. night when we gave another lesson.  Sunday they stayed at church and met with the branch president and were the last to leave.  Tuesday, we gave them the thought of a target date of either April 5 or 6 as a baptism date.  They grabbed me in the hall later and told me when they thought they might be ready.  He had counted the days 'til that date.  She came to Institute and Tai Chi that night.

Today, we taught them about the role of women in the church, faith and the Godhead in the morning and were invited back to teach them about tithing this afternoon.  This afternoon, after the lesson, they informed Ken (Elder Jarvis) that they were going to be baptized on April 5th.  We cried!  We have worked hard for this day.  We have loved and given up and gone again and gotten totally discouraged.  We have decided not to try numerous times but then I would get the prompting that we were not to give up.  I don't know why, but most of the time it was me saying that we could not quit.  I would hear a song and say, "This is for ______."  I heard a talk and we took it to them.  They listened to it 4 or 5 times.  They saw 'Les Miserables' and loved it.  Shortly after that, I was looking thru Motab music and found 'Bring Him Home' with Alfie Bowe.  They loved it.

We thought we would ask them about April 5 or 6 because of the anniversary of the Savior's birth, the birth of the church and all of that.  We threw in the 5th because it was our daughter's birthday and the true Christmas Eve.  Turns out, April 5th was the anniversary of her first marriage.  They both had previous spouses who died and whom they love.  I can't put every sacred thing or every non-coincidental experience down here.  Suffice it to say, that for all of us, this was meant to be.  We are so glad our assignment was changed.  We will soon have 8 converts to the gospel of Jesus Christ.  I am absolutely sure that He cares deeply for every single one of them and for us.  There are no accidents.  His plan has purpose if we are willing to follow.  Because we followed, our hearts are full to overflowing tonight and for many nights to come.

Invercargil to Queenstown

Well I thought maybe I would catch up on the rest of our trip.  After we left Invercargil, we headed up to Te Anau.  On the way there, we stopped at Gemstone Beach where I was seriously attacked by sand flies.  I really hate the little things and I am still itching.  Seems like it lasts forever!  It was a lovely beach though and we got to watch someone riding their horse on the beach which was fun.  It made me remember riding a horse on the beach in Venezuela.  There were about a zillion of those gorgeous shells with the pink inside on that beach and I didn't even think to get off and pick one up!  We picked up a few interesting rocks on this beach in NZ but there were very few shells.

We stopped at a little op-shop on the way.  There was a cute little lady there named Glennis.  She showed me a book on Christ and meditation that she was reading.  In return, I gave her a Book of Mormon and a Finding Faith in Christ DVD.  She was excited about that.  She said she was going to leave them out and maybe her children would see them and get some ideas.  She was a shiny person and I will never forget her little cute face.  There was not a lot more to see on the way to Te Anau except for the Southern Alps becoming closer and bigger.  They are really amazing.  A lot of the inland country here reminded me of home.

In Te Anau, we stayed at a nice little B&B called the Shakespeare Inn.  It was really nice and the host was so helpful.  He told us what we needed to go and see on our way to Milford Sound.  We wandered around town and watched an awesome video about Fjordland which Milford Sound is part of.  The photography was breathtaking and the music was great.  There was no naration and that was perfect.  We bought a copy of the video so we can see it again and again.  It is kind of strange here.  We had hoped to get a few things for kids and grandkids as rememberances but there is not all that much commercialization here.  Ken couldn't even find anything that said Milford Sound on it.  I think he was a little disappointed.

On the way to the sound on Saturday, we stopped in a place that has an interesting podocarp forest.  It was easy for me to see why the Lord of the Rings movies were shot here.  The trees are covered with all kinds of moss.  There are big burls on the trees that give you the feeling that there are trolls and hobbits and strange creatures at every turn.  There are lots of holes in the trees that look like something might pop into or out of them at any time.  Ken stood under a big burl that looked like a sort of deformed buffalo.  The kids would love it there.  Your imagination kind of runs wild.  We also stopped at Mirror Lakes and that is really beautiful.  The water is perfectly calm and them mountains are reflected there.  The lake looks like it has the real mountain and the mountains look misty and distant.

Milford Sound was an amazing place.  We had sunshine almost the whole trip and so we didn't have to contend with rain.  The scenery leaves you at a loss for words.  Our sound cruise was on a big sailing ship called the Milford Mariner.  They also use it for overnight cruises but they are even more pricey than the day cruises.  The ship went right up under one waterfall and Ken and I were at the front so we got that experience close up and personal and a little wet!  We saw lots of seals but mostly we were inpressed by the mountains that rise straight out of the ocean.  There are tons of waterfalls and this was a dry day.  The colors of blue you see are incomparable. It was a great trip.

We stopped at a place called The Chasm on the way back.  It is an unbelievable waterfall.  You can hear it and feel it before you see it.  It roars so loud!  It was my favorite shade of aqua and it rushed through these cut rocks in a way that I can't even explain.  I could have stayed there for hours.  The colors were amazing, the rock formations cut by the water were incredible and the sound was something else.  All in all, the Milford Sound area was an unforgetable experience.  On the way out to Queenstown, we left the manager of the Inn a Book of Mormon and said good bye to a lovely experience.

On to Queenstown.  It is the Park City of New Zealand only it sits on a huge lake.  We got an amazing deal at the Queenstown Hilton.  It was easily the nicest place we have stayed in years.  It is across the lake on a peninsula away from the main town so it is quiet and relaxed.  We really enjoyed our time there just relaxing with our fireplace and the patio doors open to enjoy the rain which came while we were there.  We went on the gondola to the top of a peak above the lake and watched people going on the luge and bungy jumping as well as mountain biking.  Being the adventurer, risk takers that we are, we decided against bungy jumping!  Sorry Jase, we are not up to your daring level.

We said good bye to Queenstown and headed home having had a wonderful time and having done a little missionary work as well.  We seem to be able to make a lot of contacts while we are out and about on our little wanders.  We are still looking at each other and saying, "Is this really happening!"  To top it off, we got lots of texts on the way home telling us our investigators had come to church and that there were close to 90 there.  What better way to top off a wonderful trip.

Strange Happenings at the End of the World

Yesterday we had a really great time.  We drove to Dunedin on Wednesday afternoon and then to Invercargill yesterday.  President Kezerian has given seniors the opportunity to take some side trips as long as we behave ourselves and try some missionary work as well.  The road from Denediin to Invercargill is really beautiful and interesting.  The route lies along an area named the Catlins.  It is extremely beautiful and has some amazing features.

We first stopped at Balclutha to see the Clutha (Clyde) River.  It is a beautiful shade of turquoise.  I don't think I have ever seen a river that color before.  It is also large, supposedly the largest in New Zealand and has lovely arched bridge.  It reminded me of London Bridge in Lake Havasu Az.  We then went to what is supposed to be the most photographed waterfall in New Zealand.  It was only a short walk, not very hard, through podocarp forest that is gorgeous.  There are ferns there that are 15 feet high and look more like trees.  The fall sits in the middle of this and it was easy to see why it is so photographed.  I would have taken more pictures if my battery hadn't died! Lol.

We stopped at a little roadside truck to have fish and chips (Blue Cod and it was yummy) and talked with a lady there.  She looked like she had been badly burned on her face and all of her limbs were covered in tatoos.  Ken talked with her for a bit like he does and she seemed very happy when we left her.  I think he made her day.  On the way there we had gone down to another area of beach to sea a lighthouse.  We stopped to walk on the beach and talked with a man from Switzerland.  He was mostly complaining about how there is "no history" in New Zealand.  Well, isn't that the point!  It is a pretty new country compared to Europe and it's "history" is quite different.  Some people don't get it.

We next stopped at an amaziing place called Curio Bay.  You have to go there at low tide to see things and we got there just right.  We spent a long time there.  The bottom of the bay there is covered with petrified wood.  You would not believe the huge logs that are there and the stumps just sticking up out of the ground.  It was so fascinating to look at all that and wonder what happened probably millions of years ago.  Some of the logs looked like they had been burned first.  There were so many things to see and the ocean there was so gorgeous that it was hard to leave.  There are also penguins there late in the day but we couldn't wait because we had places to go and things to do.

Next stop, Slope Point, the southernmost point on the South Island.  It said it was a 20 min. walk and we had spent a lot of time at Curio Bay but after a short debate, we decided we "would never get here again" so we went.  I think the 20 min. walk turned out to be round trip becaue it didn't seems to take too long.  I'm really glad we went because it not only was beautiful but we met to lovely ladies from Germany.  They were sisters named Heidi and Monica.  They said they were 42 and 46 but they looked 20 something.  We had a really good gospel conversation with them and they said they would watch for the missionaries in Germany.  They took our picture at the sign post to prove we did it!  We were going to get them a B of M and a video but they beat us old folks back and left too fast.  Turns out I gave that stuff to a lady named Glennis in an op shop today.  What a sweetie!  We had a nice talk as well.  She said it would be good to have that around so that her children might see and become interested too.

After we got to our motel in Invercargill and had some dinner, we drove down to a place named Bluff where you can drive up on top of a hill and see Stewart Island.  I got some great photos and there is a really nice lookout tower with lots of history and stuff.  We had ice cream at a little dairy there then drove to a really unique new Marae there.  It is very different from the others we have seen.  It was a very long day but we saw some lovely things and met some great people.  It's quite amazing who you can meet at the End of the World!

Resilience!

If there is one thing that this life has taught me it is that if you don't have this (resilience) you are in for a really tough ride.  My life has taken all the twists and turns I thought it would never take.  I have had experiences I thought I would never have, gone places I thought I would never go, done things I thought I would never have to or want to do.  I have learned things I thought I would never have to learn.  I have learned I am nothing if not resilient.

As I spend more time in this life that is new to me in a place that is new to me doing things that are new to me, I have learned that Heavenly Father made people resilient in order to just survive this experience that is not natural to their eternal spirits.  I have seen people here whose lives make mine look like a piece of cake even though it never has been one.  I have had my share of ups and downs, disappointments and heartaches, surprises and agonies.  I hear stories here that still blow my mind.  I find myself thinking often, "How do they stay positive after all they have been through?"  I have said to myself many times, "Would I be able to do that?"  Then I think about it and say, "Oh yeah, been there, done that.  I am resilient!"

We are constantly "going with the flow" so to speak.  We plan out a day only to find that as we pull up to our first appointment, we get a text saying don't come today.  At this time, we regroup, think it over, say a prayer and turn what could have been lemons into lemonade.  Lots of trite sayings here!  We pray and head to another house.  When we call they say please come and after we get there, the man of the house who is struggling with a difficult decision says, "I think the Lord sent you here today."  He is not a member and probably will never be one.  He is catholic and 84 years old.  We love him and his wife and he says we met because the Lord wanted it that way.  He wants us to tell the world that the end is near and he is very insistent upon it.  He has had a difficult life in the mines and lost one wife.  He is resilient.

We spent an hour this afternoon with an alcoholic.  He ranted, he cried, he complained and told us his pain.  When we arrived at the door, he said, "I was standing in my room thinking I might call you and I looked out the window and there you were."  He has been through so much.  He was put in a foster home at the age of 8.  It is the only real love he has ever known.  He is now 36, having spent many years in jail and much time in rehab.  He has a daughter 3 years of age who seems to be about all he lives for.  He said he would be all right as we left.  He is resilient.

We packed up a woman and her family who Ken baptized a few months ago.  I don't know how many times she has moved after a life full of misery and pain.  As we walked away, I thought of that old song with the lyrics, if it weren't for bad luck I'd have no luck at all.  She is not really happy to be moving yet again since she is just starting to make good friends here.  As we left her she commented that she would give this new town and ward a try.  Somehow, she manages to pop back in spite of everything.  She is resilient. 

I was commenting to a 91 year old woman at Tai Chi yesterday that she amazed me to be so active still at her age.  She said she had no choice.  That is the difference.  She has a choice and she chooses the better part.  My family and most of my friends look at things the same way she does.  They see only one choice and that is putting one foot in front of the other and moving forward.  That is their choice.  It is enduring to the end.  It is resilience!

One More Precious Soul

I sat in class on Sunday with a very important person.  All of the members of the class were of course important but this person makes me marvel.  He is one of our recent converts.  I have not written about him for reasons I have not known.  We met him in a most unusual way.  Ken spoke to him at an op-shop one day shortly after we arrived here.  It was a very brief conversation about how hard it was for big men like them to find clothing in these shops.  Ken did not even take much notice of it.

Three weeks later, while out contacting less active members, I picked a name from our list.  We drove up to the home, got out of the car and walked to the door.  Upon doing that, we could hear some very loud voices out back of the house.  Ken went around to find out who was there.  A man said, "It is Elder Jarvis!"  We had never been to that home, nor had we ever met it's occupants that we knew of.  After a few seconds, Ken recognized the man from the op-shop.  He had read the name on Ken's tag and had been trying to find us.  Interestingly enough, this man is named Ken, he is a big man and he was born on April 19, Ken Jarvis' birthday as well.

We soon began teaching all the people who lived in that home, Ken, a woman and Ken's son.  He told us that he and the woman had been arguing and it probably didn't help their conversation that he kept saying things like, "What would Joseph Smith do?" with a less than amiable attitude.  As we taught him though, he began to do everything we asked him to do.  He started to read all the things we gave him, including the Book of Mormon.  He began to pray.  He and the woman split and he began living laws that are so important to our progress in the gospel.  He stopped drinking coffee, a very important thing to him and he quit smoking.

On December 1, 2012, he was baptised by Elder Jarvis.  On December 2, 2012 he received the Aaronic Priesthood and baptised his sweet 12 year old son.  His son now holds the Aaronic Priesthood which his dad confirred on him a couple of weeks later.  I have never seen such a visible change in a human being take place in such a short time but then again, I have never seen the Spirit work on anyone like it did on this man.  He is now happy, relaxed and moving forward with his life.  He is determined to make a better life for himself and his son.  He sat in class and tried to help others who were there see the direction they could take to live happier, more productive lives.

I am beginning to understand why the Lord wants us to help people reach his love and kingdom one step and one person at a time.  Each soul is precious and the Lord and the Father know this.  They are just hoping that one day, all the rest of us will discover this truth for ourselves.

The Parable of the Beachcomber and the White Stones

In a certain city there dwelt a woman who frequented the beach.  She grew very interested in the polished stones that covered the beach and began to collect them.  After some time, she realized that the stones she was most drawn to were the white stones.  They came in so many shapes and sizes and varieties.  Some were very smooth and appeared very nearly perfect.  Others had imperfections that were ever so small.  Some had large cracks and particles that covered various parts of their surface.  To the beachcomber, they were all beautiful and so she gathered them in and took them home.  The waves and the tumbling were no longer polishing the stones.   They looked lovely on her shelf but they grew no lovlier. 

I began collecting stones from the beach when I arrived here.  At first I collected many different kinds.  There were grey and green and red ones.  There were amber and yellow and black.  The ones that fascinated me most were the white stones.  To me they represented people and their many varieties.  I found a "rough stone rolling" which to me represented Joseph Smith.  I found a fairly large tear drop shaped semi-transparent quartz which was almost perfect.  That became Christ.  There are a huge variety in between.  As I collected I thought of the white stones that provided light for the people of Jared.  Then Ken reminded me of the new name written on a white stone.

I became an observer and the stones became various people in my mind.  They were in various stages in their life processes.  The sea and the other stones on the beach became the means by which the stones were polished much like a tumbler that people who polish stones use.  The action of the sea and stones rolling in and out again stressed the stones but it also made them more beautiful and interesting.  To my understanding, this became a very important process much like the one we all go through in life.  A black stone will never become a white stone nor does it need to.  A green stone will never become red but each stone becomes an integral part of the whole.  This fact gives variety and joy to life.

I will probably keep collecting because of what they mean to me but at some point in time, most of them will be returned to the sea to continue their polishing process.  I will always carry in my heart the sound of the waves rolling those stones and the image of them getting more and more polished by the action of the tumbling,  They then will have the opportunity to become even more beautiful for another beachcomber to collect and marvel over.

Worth the Wait?

Friday night we got an interesting call.  It was from two sisters in our branch, Sis. Weeks and Sis. Paea.  They both know that we have been wanting to see a penguin to take pictures of for our grandchildren.  They wanted to know if we would like to go with them to "see the penguins".  Well, the answer was not too hard and since we were only a few blocks from Sis. Weeks house at the time, we consented to meet them there and follow to see the penguins.  We arrived shortly on the pier near Caroline Bay and began our wait.

I had asked Sis. Weeks if we would actually see a penguin and she had said, "If you go with me, you will!"  Her confidence inspired confidence in me.  I knew they had both seen penguins in this place before so we just waited patiently.  A succession of people began to come and go and gather and talk and laugh and "wait".  We started the wait about 8:45 and people continued to come and go.  It was pretty noisy for a while and we began to wonder if any self-respecting penguin would want to come out but still we waited.  Luka Paea went to play on the beach.  Ken and Sis. Weeks were having a quiet conversation several feet from Sis. Paea and I as we conversed as well.  Still, we waited.  People began to leave as the dusk became more and more dark.

After a while it was pretty much the four of us and a couple of other strays who also eventually left.  I asked Sis. Paea, "What do you think."  She said, "Let's wait a few more minutes."  We were at the car getting ready to leave when Sis. Weeks took one last stroll and began to wave frantically.  One little blue penguin had finally come out to show itself.  I took a lot of blind pictures of it in the shadows of the rock but some turned out well and I was so excited that we had waited.

Especially to my grandchildren but also to the rest of you, it is worth the wait.  Whatever you really love and care about is worth the wait.  It is worth the confidence in yourself that, yes, you can achieve that goal.  "If you go with me, you will!"  Believe in yourself and believe in your goal whether it be a prize, the gospel, a school achievement or whatever.  You really have nothing to lose and everything to gain.  I only saw one little blue penguin but that is more than I have seen in the rest of my stay here in NZ.  It was worth it!